A Honey Oak Kitchen with White Appliances - A 4 Day $1,000 Transformation

Hey Folks,
I have been doing a Facebook/Blogging fast for lent. It ended up getting extended since I was enjoying it so much. I had so much time on my hands I was actually bored at times..........my goal in life;) Boredom, sweet boredom.

The boredom was short lived. After burning through about 15  - 20 library books in the first month, I turned my attention to watching/scouring/obsessing over the MLS listings. I have a huge fascination with real estate and have watched way too many episodes of "Income Property". So naturally, thank you Scott McGillivray, I was overwhelmed with the urge to fulfill one of my bucket list items and buy a rental property. Having time on your hands can be dangerous.

So without a real estate agent and after looking at a total of two properties we put an offer in on a condo (we got an amazing deal) and got it!!! Yippee. So freaking stressful but so exciting.


Our 4 day kitchen transformation. These pictures were taken with different camera's -
but the cabinets really do look like a completely different colour now. Its pretty amazing!

They had done a lot of upgrades to get the unit ready to sell. Fortunately for us, they misfired on the kitchen with the avocado green paint and sticking with the original pulls, hood fan and counter top (circa 1983). Yuck. And they kindly replaced the fridge and stove...........with white! Ugh.  Even with all my design training (i.e. HGTV marathons), even I was having trouble figuring out how to deal with this kitchen.

But I never back down from a challenge so with just over 2 weeks between the offer going in and getting possession I frantically studied "how to downplay Honey Oak cabinets", "best upgrades for a rental property", "best paint colours with honey oak", "honey oak cabinets + white appliances". My google search and Pinterest were on fire.

Almost everyone seems to decide to paint their honey oak cabinets so I didn't have a lot to go on. Given this is going to be a rental and the cabinets are in really good shape, I felt it was better to leave them as is. So we decided to work with what we had in terms of cabinets and do what we could to minimize their brassiness with the counter-top, back-splash and paint. Plus - I do really like wood.

A few things I did learn through my google research in regards to making the most of honey oak cabinets were:

• Make sure none of your finishes - especially paint - have any pink undertones;
• Oil Rubbed Bronze works well with oak compared to most other finishes - I have to say that I agree - not something I would pick for my own home as I'm more of a mid-century modern girl but they really do work (plus the hinges were dark so that was a perfect choice for us);
• If you've got white appliances you need to make them blend in. That's why we chose light colors for all the other finishes. 

We were also dealing with a space that has NO EXTERIOR WINDOWS. Yikes. So again, we were trying to do what ever we could to keep the space light and airy.

I can't tell you how excited I am about how this turned out. We were able to turn this project around in 4 days and just over $1,000 (see breakdown of costs below after the pictures). Which includes the purchase of a dishwasher. We did everything ourselves and we have some bumps and bruises to prove it but it was worth it and so rewarding! My hubby is amazing at DIY and I'm quite proud that I was able to keep my "investor" hat on most of the time. Its tempting to want to decorate the space for yourself rather than for a tenant but I stuck to my guns. I almost got sidetracked and ended up with quartz counters that were 4 x the price - but common sense persevered.

Okay - gotta run - now I've actually got to find someone to live in this unit. If you know someone they can email kitsonrental@shaw.ca. Available immediately!!!

Luckily there was wiring/plumbing roughed in for the dishwasher - it had just never been used??? I'm pretty sure our renters will appreciate this new feature.

Oh those old pulls.........they left behind some damage but I cleaned them up as best I could.

Typhoon Bordeaux Laminate - I had 16 colours to chose from since we needed it cut in one business day. There are two places in town that do this and they each have 8 in-stock colours.  Its actually quite lovely. 

How much did we spend (in Canadian dollars, excluding taxes):

• Dishwasher - $349 - awesome sale at Sears - Kenmore
• Counter-top - $459 - Winnipeg Custom Counter-tops - Typhoon Bordeaux Laminate
• Pulls - $59.98 - Home Depot - Oil Rubbed Bronze - 2 x 10 packs
• Back splash - $108.19 - Home Depot - Special Buy Event
• Paint & Primer- $60 - Premier Brand - Canadian Tire - Benjamin Moore Buckwheat color match
• Hood Fan - $59 - Rona

So for a total of $1,095.17 (plus some incidentals like grout and other supplies) I think we did a pretty great transformation.

Top Five MamaEatsClean Blog Posts

Hey Folks, I'm about to reach a huge milestone on my blog. My little blog that could. My blog is just a fun project I started when I was on maternity leave to document recipes for my new clean way of eating. It kind of turned into a recipe book/journal. There were times when it was really fun and therapeutic and then sometimes it felt like a burden and was embarrassed about all the personal information I had posted. I've actually considered shutting it down at times just to take "something off my plate"....no pun intended. But a bigger lesson for me has been to just leave it alone if it doesn't fit in with my life at the moment. If I have no time, if I have nothing important to say, if I haven't experimented with a new recipe for a while. Because one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past 3 years as I've tried to regain my health is to let go of my self-imposed expectations, try not to worry about what other people think of me, and just "keep my head where my feet are". 

Plus, ultimately people still love lots of the recipes, and I do use them regularly myself. Its kind of confusing as I've changed the list of ingredients I include/exclude in my diet over the last 3 years several times. As I've figured out what works/doesn't work for my body some of my most popular recipes aren't even ones I can enjoy anymore. But that doesn't mean others can't enjoy them.

So to mark a big upcoming milestone (I'll keep ya posted), I've decided to re-share my top 5 blog posts. Maybe you can enjoy some of the recipes, even if we can't:

#1 - Cauliflower Shepherd's Pie, we still LOVE this recipe but I am now dairy-free and try to avoid mushrooms so I make a few adjustments. This recipe has had almost 300K hits.......................crazy!

#2 - Twiced Baked Mashed Cauliflower - I now try to eat a low fod-map diet so I limit the amount of cauliflower that I eat, plus I don't eat dairy anymore. But from what I remember this was a darn good recipe..............

#3 Blow you Mind Black Bean Brownies - I haven't made these for quite a while, forgot about them plus I try and limit my bean intake now (I found legumes/beans were flaring up my IBS)

#4 My Cedar Fence, Kind of funny that this is one of my top posts since it has nothing to do with anything I usually write about. But a good reminder of the power of the images. Who doesn't love a good before and after photo.

#5 Coconut Flour Chocolate Zucchini Cake This is actually something I could still eat. Might need to go make this later..............

My Winter Bucket List

I LOVE LOVE LOVE lists. Love.

Always have. 

The thing is that I'm supposed to be focusing on "being" not "doing" all the time. Being in the present.

I tend to live in the future. Which results in me being a total worry wart. Because the future is unknown. And the unknown is scary for a control freak like me. And fear leads to anxiety. But lists about the future make me feel like I'm taking back some control.  Hence, I've always loved lists.

Unfortunately, the lists don't really help with anxiety in the long run. They just keep me focused on the future. So I'm trying to tone it down on the lists.

That being said, I'm also working hard on using mindfullness to shift my perception of my situation. And one of my "situations" is that winter is brewing. And winter in Winnipeg, when you are cold all the time to begin with (see my blood analysis post that confirmed my blood is "sticky" and not circulating properly so I REALLY AM ALWAYS COLD), is pretty tough. As soon as the first frost hit this week I could feel my brain going to that negative place of dread.  So I need to work on shifting my perception of my situation. 

I do a summer bucket list each year. Which I really enjoy. Of course I do.....its a list. But really, who needs a bucket list for summer. Everyday is easy to look forward to. Summer is full of sunshine and adventure by nature.

Winter. That's another story.

So I decided that it's okay if I make a Winter Bucket List. Its a list. Its kinda making me focus on the future. But in a good way. Its also helping me shift my perception of winter. Because there are really a lot of great things about winter too!  I actually had to stop myself from going too crazy - as to not set up unrealistic expectations and find myself trying to check off the boxes rather than enjoying the journey. 

So here is my list. A list of things I'm going to look forward to doing. And be fully present when I'm doing them. And I'm actually not going to care if I don't get through it. For the record I didn't quite finish my summer bucket list - and I was okay with it - mostly. I'm making progress!

And if this doesn't work, I'm scraping my list and were heading down south for a couple of weeks in February.

Getting into the Bubbly...............

Some of my "bubbly" experiments.
 Some water kefir and lacto-fermented vegetables.
Going to need more counter space.......

Nope. Not what you think. 

I still don't drink. Sorry Parkland ladies. Fun Bobby Chanty is still in hibernation.

But I have been making my own bubbly...........WATER KEFIR.

Completely addicted. In love. Enamored. 

Haven't had this much fun in the kitchen since I discovered Chia seeds.  Look it how it bubbles........I made that.........so fun!!!

Most of you don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Don't feel bad - my spell check doesn't even recognize the word. Well, here is the official definition:

1. Water Kefir (pronounced keh-FEER) is not as well known as milk kefir. But it is the same concept - symbiotic grains of bacteria and yeast that ferment a specific liquid - in this case, a sugar-water-fruit liquid. It produces a mild, light and refreshing, slightly carbonated beverage.

Basically, you feed sugar water to "water kefir grains" and it turns it into a slightly sweet, mildly carbonated beverage that is FULL OF PRO-BIOTICS. You drain off the fermented kefir water after 24 - 48 hours (drink it or use it for a second ferment), add more sugar water to the grains and you just keep going. You can flavor/feed it with different fruits, dried fruits, extracts, etc. Dozens of flavor combinations. 

I got me some water kefir grains from a trusted local source. Kijiji, of course. She is actually a legit business person with a pretty robust website so it's all good. Hubby was pretty skeptical. I was pretty desperate to get my hands on some.

Why the desperation you ask? 

Well, two things really:

1) I had been experiencing a pretty bad IBS-c flare up over the winter. Unfortunately, it escalated over the Easter weekend into a full fledged fibromyalgia attack/food flu/severe sickness. Call it what you like. It was bad enough that I had been dealing with severe digestive upset but then I got slammed with full body aches and pains, severe brain fog and extreme fatigue. No - it wasn't the flu. And it happened more than once this winter. Frankly it scared the shit out of me. I know digestive issues are just the first step down the slippery slope to auto-immune disease........and;

2) I got some blood work back for all three of my rug rats. All three have "nutritional deficiencies". Various states of low iron and B12, among some other unusual things. I know their guts aren't working properly. We also went through some dietary changes with our 2 year old over the winter after he started behaving like a raging lunatic most of the time. Plus he was having weird facial rashes. We stopped feeding him eggs and, go figure, he's really only a lunatic some of the time. But I suspect the fact that we were feeding him a diet of almost exclusively eggs (dumb in hindsight - I know) has done some serious damage to his system. 

Needless to say, I believe that we all need some gut healing to take place.  Things just aren't quite working properly for any of us - even on a gluten (grain for me) and dairy free diet. A low sugar diet made up primarily of whole foods. 

How can I be working this hard at it and still not seeing results? Grrrr. Frustrating.

Had a small pity party and then got serious about figuring this shit (no pun intended) out.  

I took out a small truckload of books from the library (only a couple shown - Thank you City of Winnipeg), spent many, many (many) hours scouring the internet and am in the process of coming up with a new game plan.  A plan that includes lots of cultured/fermented foods full of natural probiotics.  A game plan that requires me to learn how to make lots of cultured/fermented foods full of natural probiotics. 

It is so easy to order (hold) books from the library. They also have lots of digital version available if that's your thing. What a great way to do some research!

Bring. It. On. I'm jazzed. Pumped. Can't wait to tackle this next kitchen adventure. Fuck you IBS. You're not going to win. Sorry - I rarely swear but I'm fired up.

So expect to see some new recipes and experiments coming your way!

And for the record. I'm currently trying the FODMAP diet that is specifically for IBS sufferers. It calmed my stomach down pretty much immediately (about 2 days after starting it). Just throwing out there if someone else is confused on what to do next. I don't think it's a long-term solution but its giving me the relief I need to get feeling good enough to tackle this next chapter of my gut healing journey.

Stay tuned. 

Why I had to give up Coffee........and Decaf..............and Dandy Blend. Sigh.

The answer to my coffee-free existence. Maybe not.

There is nothing better than that first taste, sip, gulp of coffee in the morning.

That is unless it causes severe insomnia (which over time results in moodiness, weight gain, frustration and exhaustion - to name a few things).

Good thing there is decaffeinated coffee for us poor souls.

Nope. Actually, that's not the answer. Even decaffeinated coffee F's up my sleep.  Seriously. I know some people reading this think I'm crazy or its all in my head. Its not. I started drinking decaf again in November. OH DID I ENJOY IT. But after not having one proper sleep in two months I had to look really hard at what had changed. I tried to blame the stress of Christmas (it really was a crazy December) and work and general busy-ness. But no. It was the darn decaf.

I knew it. Deep down I knew it. But I kept putting it off. Looking for other excuses. I wanted to keep drinking it so bad.

But I finally admitted to myself that I can't even handle decaf. BIG. HUGE. SIGH.

I really am a delicate creature. A delicate creature that started sleeping again in the New "coffee and decaf free" year.

But I wasn't ready to give up my morning shot of happiness. So I went on a hunt for an alternative. I scoured the Internet and found Dandy Blend. Yay - they sell it in Winnipeg (at Hollow Reed on Corydon). My prayers had been answered.

Daddy blend is a mix of dandelion, chicory and beet roots, and barley and rye grains - are all health-promoting foods respected throughout the world. Its full of minerals, tastes great, gluten-free, etc. etc. etc. You get the picture - this stuff is the bomb.  I couldn't find one issue with it (and I read a million reviews). All the granola cruncher, health-food junkies are loving this stuff.

And WOW was I loving this stuff. I was making myself amazing "lattes" with cinnamon, stevia, vanilla and almond milk. Life was good.

Except, there was trouble in paradise.

I was noticing that I was feeling pretty bloated. After a couple days I tried blaming it on my diet.......had to be something I ate. I wasn't about to give up my beloved lattes........again.

But after a week, my stomach was actually sticking out so far I looked about 4 months pregnant. And I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

Again, I did a check-in and had a long talk with myself.

Time to face facts Mama C - Dandy Blend does not agree with you. It seems to agree with EVERY OTHER bloody person that tries it. But not me.

I'm pretty sure its the chicory root (I've reacted to it before).

So I've gone back to water and herbal teas. And I'm surviving. After a week of withdrawal I no longer stand over my husbands coffee doing deep breathing to try and soak up the sunshine.

Some people think my dietary troubles are all in my head. Some people probably think I have orthorexia (an unhealthy obsession with healthy food). But I have to live in this body. And if giving up coffee and decaf and bloody Dandy Blend makes me feel better then that is what I'll do. And trust me, if I have an unhealthy obsession with anything its good tasting food. So I wouldn't be giving up anything if I didn't have to. 

So if we go out for dinner and I just drink water and eat a seemingly boring and healthy meal, don't be annoyed. I'm not doing it to make you feel bad about your food and beverage choices. I'm doing it so I can feel my best - and that isn't as easy for us delicate-digestive-challenged flowers.



















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My Accidental Experiment - Weaning off Adrenal Support? Good Idea?

EPIC Fail.

EPIC.

I have been on herbal adrenal support non-stop (save 11 days this August) since December 20, 2012. I can recall the date very vividly as I was having SEVERE anxiety about the "end" of the Mayan calendar. Two months of severe anxiety that vanished with the passing of December 21, 2012 and co-incidentally my starting a high does of adrenal support. At that point I was on 4 pills a day.

Over the next two'ish years my goal has been to get off those adrenal pills for good. I have done everything they tell you to heal your adrenals.................

I eat clean and have fully eliminated my trigger foods - for me that's banana's, yeast, grains and dairy. I eat protein regularly and I watch my sugar and carbs (especially early in the day).

I don't drink. At all. I even gave up decaf coffee. Painful but I'm committed..........although sometimes I feel like I need to be committed:)

I take my supplements faithfully - Probiotics (Align), B6, B12 (injections), Calcium/Magnesium, C, D and Iron. And of course my  beloved Adrenal Balance.

I exercise regularly. Four times a week. I gave up the high intensity interval training that I love (for now) and have been opting for yoga and weight-training to give my adrenals a break. I even go to gentle yoga classes. And restorative yoga classes. This is big for me as there was a day (not that long ago) that I could not sit through a yoga class without feeling like I was going to lose my marbles - I could not sit still. Now I love it although I do still crave the burn and endorphin high of pushing my body to the brink. But I'm behaving. And breathing instead.

I go to bed by 10 or 10:30 EVERY day.

I even quit my job for something less stressful (but stress seems to follow me in that regard so although relatively less stressful I still manage to get myself worked up fairly regularly). Not so easy to retrain my brain to just go with the flow at work - type A to the Nth degree.

Anyway, all of this got me down to one pill a day. Although I have had some bumps in the road (anxiety flare in May that seemed to have been "grain" related) I thought that I had finally nailed it.

I was feeling great over the summer. FINALLY. Yay. Way to go Mama Chanty!!!! I even got a big gold star from my doctor on my blood work - things were finally looking almost normal.

Until, Drum Roll...................I made a huge mistake. Kind of accidental. Kind of on-purpose.

We went away for a few days and I forgot my adrenal pills. And then I got the stomach flu and I didn't feel like ingesting anything at all.

So I was "accidentally" off all my supplements for 6 days. And I actually felt okay. Woo hoo. I saw my chance to finally break free and I took it. I felt kind of smug.

Co-incidentally on day 9 of being off adrenal supplement I happened to have a Naturopath appointment. She said that if I made it past 10 - 14 days and was feeling fine that I was probably good to go. I had been feeling a big fatigued but I have three kids I didn't put too much stock into that.

And then day 10 hit me. And I mean HIT. ME. HARD.

It happened to correspond with the second half of my "cycle". Great. Two weeks of hell. I barely slept for the whole two weeks. I had moodiness that ranged from weep-iness to rage and everything in between. Brain fog. Exhaustion. Leg cramps. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Not. Not. Not. Not. Not.

No. Thank. You.

So I think its fair to say there IS a connection between hormones and the adrenals. A strong connection. I had been working on my hormone issues (hence the addition of B6 and Cal/Mag to my arsenal of supplements) and they were getting much better. Until BAM.

So the morale of the story is that I am not ready to be off my adrenal support. I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit disappointed in my body. But grateful that I have the means to afford those little herbal miracle pills.

And I have a new determination to actually CURE my adrenals. I know I can manage them. But I want to heal them for good.  So I'm going to try some new stuff.....reflexology might be next. And more work on my mind-body connection because I can't blame all this on my digestive issues any more.

Stay tuned!

Hopelessness, Hormones and Hickey's!!!

Embarrassing. It should be except for the fact that these "hickey's"
are the cure to my shoulder and neck agony. So I wear them with pride. And let people think I have
 a really exciting life................

My neck and shoulder have been completely flared up for all of July.

Funny how that happened just after I had a stress/adrenal flare up in June.

Not so funny actually but a lot less traumatic this time.

Yes. I have been to this rodeo before. I had chronic neck/shoulder pain for over 18 months when I went through my rock bottom-burn out-looked and felt like shit phase in 2010/2011. Read all about that here.

The difference this time is that I KNOW that it can get better. I have HOPE. Its still annoying as hell and hurts like a bitch but its a lot less scary.

Why all the swearing? I really shouldn't but I just finished reading I HEART MY LITTLE A-HOLES and man there was a LOT of cursing in that book. So I blame her for my bad behavior........and the fact that my shoulder is throbbing.

So if you aren't feeling great - depression, anxiety, pain, whatever - have hope. You can get better. It might take a lot of determination. Some trial and error. A few $$$$. For me it even took a whack-load of hickey's.  But I know it can be fixed.............and not with a shit-load of pharmaceuticals.

How did I cure my shoulder issues last time? And how am I planning on doing it again?

Well, as my chiropractor reminded me "Chantel, it all comes back to stress management for you". Yes. If he weren't so darn RIGHT and so darn good at what he does I would be annoyed. I hate hearing stuff I don't want to hear.

But I need to hear it. Again. And again. And again.

I broke my adrenals once and they will probably never be the same. I need to baby them. I need to reduce mental and physical stress as much as I can. I need to know when to chill out. I need to eat properly for me - which means no grains, dairy and little sugar. I need to exercise - moderately, not over-train like I tend to. I need to go to sleep by 10. I need to take my supplements. I need to avoid caffeine and alcohol.

When I fail at those things and my neck and shoulder get really pissed at all the tension I am carrying around I need my chiropractor. He is a miracle worker. He uses a combination of Graston(the sad and much less interesting source of my hickey's), Active Release and Adjustments. Not sure what I would do without him. I was so hormonal the other day I started crying on the way there. Not because I was in pain, but because I was overwhelmed with gratefulness that I found him. Its cheesy but if you have ever been in constant chronic pain (for almost 2 years), tried every kind of treatment you could think of and are looking at a lifetime of painkillers..................you would know why it makes me cry. And the hormones of course.

So don't give up. Keep trying. Keep working at it. And hey, if you get a few hickey's along the way............that's just a bonus!

And by the way, if you carry your stress around in your shoulders and neck and are wound so tight you feel like you are going to snap...............find someone that does Graston. Give it a shot. I tried everything and its the only thing that worked for me. It is painful, your neck will look like a mess, but it works!

My Attempt at Clean Camping

A sample of some of our eats. Left - Just one of our mean and clean breakfasts - scrambled eggs, toast (none for me and GF vegan bread for my 6 year old), bacon, blueberries and some veggies.  Top right - I pre-marinaded and froze chicken thighs which we roasted on the fire with some fresh beets - delicious.  Bottom right - S'mores made with GF Oreo cookies, dark chocolate and marshmallows. Two of three of our kids had a complete meltdown that night. Hmmm - too much sugar maybe? Two of three of our kids said the best part of camping was the S'mores. Sigh. The third one can't talk. Damn that sugar is evil.

Hello Everyone! Hope you are having a great summer. 

I have been super low on the recipes and blog posts since I have been spending a lot less time in the kitchen and on the computer. Yay - I'm doing something right. 

After a rough start to our summer with my shoulder/neck problem reappearing, my severe anxiety in May, my adrenals taking a beating in June and my Candida problem trying to come back I am happy to say that I am feeling pretty great. For now. 

I have been working really hard at sticking to my no-grain, no-dairy, low sugar diet which is key. I have been trying to stay active without overdoing it. And I have been trying to get to bed on time. 

And it is working. For now. 

It is an ongoing battle. Especially during the summer. 

We just got back from a 5 day camping trip in our new (used) pop-up. Five people living in a 10ft tent trailer and eating out of a super small fridge and coolers for almost a week. And we still managed to keep it pretty clean. Well the food anyway. I didn't shower for 6 days so I wasn't very clean.

And I managed to stay active and still get in some workouts. So I really should have had a shower. Sorry to my fellow campers. 

I guess I am bragging a bit. But I'm also telling you it can be done so you are encouraged to try it. Don't just assume it can't be done and give up on eating the foods that make you feel your best (and more importantly staying away from the ones that make you feel the worst). 

It is hard to stay on track during the summer when you are surrounded by chips, alcohol, S'mores. When everyone else is eating Kraft dinner and hot dogs. We had some cheats here and there, but we also ate lots of veggies and good, clean, nutritious foods.

After the way I was feeling in June I was highly motivated to "stay on the wagon". 

You just have to plan. Plan. Plan. Plan. I'll say it one more time. PLAN. 

It won't happen if you don't plan for it. I pre-made high protein smoothies and took my Magic Bullet for a quick and healthy breakfast. I baked vegan GF muffins for my kids and my Chocolate pumpkin loaf and vegan GF bagels for me. I marinaded and froze meats before we left so we didn't have to rely on hot dogs. I pre-made lots of salads. We ate apple nacho's and nuts for snacks. 

That's just a "taste" of how we did it. But it can be done. It was a heck of a lot of work but this time after coming home from a week away from the house I didn't need a 5 day detox to get rid of my brain fog. In the big picture of things it was probably a lot less work - detoxing is harder that prepping food. And my moods were stable so I actually, really, truly, whole-heartedly enjoyed my kids. I relaxed not because I was too tired to move but because my mind felt still. I felt happy. 

I needed that.  Now let's hope I can keep it going. 

For exercising we did a LOT of biking. I love biking. Biking brings me joy and I have hardly had my bike out this summer so I got my fill. And I did lots of yoga. I had one of my best yoga practices ever right on the beach (see pics). Yes, my kids were talking and "fishing" nearby so I didn't have solitude but I had fresh air and water and it was fabulous. Thank you Rhea for introducing me to ALI KAMENOVA yoga. All you need it a smartphone and you can do your yoga anywhere.  Or your HIIT. Or whatever moves you.  No excuses. And for the record mosquito's love yogi's.

RCMP, Brain Fog and Stress

I did something really embarrassing this weekend that resulted in me being asked "Did you get a call from the RCMP yet?"

You know your adrenal fatigue is getting bad when...........

You go to the gas station. Fill up your van with $75 worth of gas. Use their bathroom. And 2 1/2 hours later think "Weird - I don't remember paying for gas". Complete and utter brain fog.

For the record I did not pay for the gas but I did go back (on my own without the knowledge that the RCMP were looking for me) 3 hours later and say sheepishly "I'm $75 on lane 1". With a big smirk the attendant says "oh hi - you're back - we saw you on the surveillance and didn't think you looked like a criminal". But they called the police anyway.

The morale of the story is that I still "look" fairly put together on the outside but I'm back in brain fog land in the inside. Adrenal fatigue land. Candida land.

Big. Huge. Sigh.

This was not how I was hoping to spend my summer. I DON'T WANT TO DO THE CANDIDA DIET AGAIN. It sucks. If you come here for inspiration. Sorry. I'm not in the mood. I need to wallow for a day in self pity. And then tomorrow I'm tightening up the diet and slamming back some anti-fungals.

I know I can do this. I've done it before. I'll go back and re-read some of my old blog posts and recipes and get myself refreshed on how this thing works.

Its partly my own fault that this happened. I started letting the grains and sugar back into my diet a while back. I had been sneaking grains off my kids plates and pounding back my "healthy" dark chocolate like it was going out of style. That resulted in my GRAINXIETY episode in the spring.

Well in June I cut both out the grains and most of the sugar - and my anxiety went away. But I fell back off the wagon this weekend - I was travelling with the kids (alone) and just didn't have the time, foresight or willpower to stay away from them. Poof - my anxiety was back as quickly as it went away. Three days seems to be my magic number.

So the diet problem was my own fault.

But I have also been under a fair deal of stress lately. A little here. A lot there. Coming at me from every angle. Its all piling up on me and a lot of it is out of my control. Not the kind that you can make go away by making different decisions. And generally the end of the school year was pretty crazy - we have been running around and I haven't been babying myself like I used to.

So it all accumulated and caught up with me.

And now I have to deal with it because I'm not going to lie - I don't feel great. I'm by no means the best version of myself.

But I think I can turn things around quickly. I'm correcting months of abuse this time, not years. I hope I can bounce right back.

Wish me luck because I want to have a good summer! All the ingredients for a perfect summer are there - 3 great kids, lots of time off work, hopefully some sun - the question is will I be there. Or in some brain fog trying to explain to the RCMP that I'm not a criminal. Just a Mom with broken adrenals and a will to be better!

Grainxiety

If you have been following along my periodic blog posts (sorry - blogging is taking a back seat to life) you might know that I was recently going through quite a severe bout of anxiety. I was walking around with constant fear that would get progressively worse as the day went on.

By bed time (I use that term lightly as sleep was pretty elusive) I was in a complete state of utter terror.

Not a fun way to live.

Quite frustrating as I was eating "clean", exercising, taking my supplements and most importantly my stress levels were relatively low. Yes, I'm busy. I have three young kids and a job.............and I eat clean, exercise and take my supplements.......all very time consuming ventures. But I'm busy doing things I enjoy and know when to say "no" so I'm not stressed out like I used to be.

So why the anxiety?

I don't believe I have an anxiety disorder that is "starting in my head". I continue to believe that my body gets out of balance due to digestive issues, food sensitivities, toxins, sleep disturbances and/or hormones. Where one begins and the other ends I don't know.

But I did know that I needed to look at my diet and supplements to figure out what was going on. I tried/adjusted lots of things but here are some of the biggies................

At first I thought maybe it was my B12 levels. But, although I would feel better for a couple days after a B12 injection, it wouldn't hold. So not my B12. Or not entirely.

Then I looked to my diet.

After about a year of not drinking any caffeine, or coffee at all, I had recently re-introduced decaf coffee into my morning routine. Yummy. But maybe not the best plan. It was lovely while it lasted but once my anxiety started to spiral out of control I thought it just wasn't worth it. Just in case. And my anxiety ebbed a little. But again it didn't hold. So maybe the coffee wasn't the trigger but it certainly wasn't helping.

So I had to finally REALLY look at my diet. And admit to myself that the only thing that had really changed was that I was eating way more grains than I had been since I first started this clean eating journey two years ago. Rice, rice cakes, quinoa, bites of my kids GF pancakes, GF cookies, etc, etc, etc. All very "healthy and clean".

I find it very difficult to eliminate grains from my diet. VERY DIFFICULT. They are portable. They are cheap. They are convenient. They taste good. They are everywhere. Tempting me.

Grains didn't actually come up as a food sensitivity on my IGG tests. That would have been so much easier in a way..........then I would KNOW.

Well. I do know. I have tested (through elimination and re-introduction) it in the past and I know they don't agree with my system but I somehow always end up convincing myself "they can't be that bad".

I finally got fed up with my GRAINXIETY and decided to fully and completely give up grains for 30 days to see what would happen. Three big things happened within about three days:

1) I had thought I had gained some weight - my pants had been tight and I felt uncomfortable. Guess what - I was completely and utterly bloated. As soon as I ditched the grains my belly deflated. And my system started working properly again. I hadn't realized how poorly my system had been working until it started working again. [For the record I did gain some weight but that didn't explain my Buddha belly]; and

2) My sweet cravings. My out-of-control, over-the-top, can't-get-enough sweet cravings dropped off significantly. Not gone but significantly reduced; and

2) My anxiety lifted. Poof. Gone. Just. Like. That.

Its incredible. I'm now on Day 17 and it hasn't returned. I'm anxiety free.

I chose a 30 day challenge for a reason. I am not 100% sure that the anxiety couldn't have something to do with my monthly cycle and hormones. So I still have another week and a half to go before I can for sure, without a doubt, cross my heart declare that grains caused my anxiety.

I suspect I know what the answer will be.  And then I can encourage others not to run to their doctors for anti-anxiety medications. Not to just accept/assume that this is something out of their control that they have to live with. Maybe there is something YOU CAN DO to cure your anxiety (or a gazillion other indirect symptoms of food sensitivities and/or digestive issues).

Wish me luck. I'm living again. And it feels great to be back!

Grains and Anxiety - Is there a connection???

Hey Folks.

Thought I better check in. I have been busy enjoying our instant summer. We had a glorious weekend of sunshine so we have been busy riding our bikes, playing with water, flying kites, making dandelion bouquets - you know - PLAYING. After our looooooong winter my heart feels so happy to feel the warm sun on my face that I want to soak up every second. Which means less time in the kitchen experimenting with recipes and less time on my computer. Great but it means my blogging is taking a back seat to summer...........

I thought I should at least check in and give you an update. An update on my health. Because if you are going to use all my recipes you probably want to know if this "clean" eating even works.

Okay. So. Hard to explain.

I actually feel HAPPIER is lots of ways then I have ever in my life. The kids are fabulous. Hard work and a constant challenge but so fun and cute and awesome. My husband is great. Busy and overwhelmed at times but we are "besties" and always on the same page so it gets us through any bumps in the road usually with a giggle.  My work is awesome. Changing jobs and working half time is the best thing I ever did for our family.....for me. I love my job. I love having time with the kids during the week. I love having time for myself. 

Fitness wise things are going great. I'm still at it about 4 times a week and it seems to be working for me. A little hot yoga, a little high intensity internal training, some light weights. Things I love and things that give me energy. I've even thrown some dancing back into the mix. My heart is doing a happy dance. More on that another time.

Now for the fun stuff. My digestion? My Candida? My Adrenals? My energy? My anxiety? My sleep?

Well, I seem to have entered into a new era of my life (post being constantly pregnant and/or breastfeeding). And let me tell you it has brought me a whole new list of benefits and challenges. To say I have been all over the place would be an understatement.

So I have basically been studying my body and my symptoms to try and figure out how I can optimize my health in my new state of monthly hormonal fluctuations.And let me tell you........its a ROLLER COASTER ride. Since I'm only about 5 months in, I'm still just trying to figure things out but here's what I've come to realize so far:

• HUNGER: Breastfeeding was making me crazy hungry and low blood-sugarish. As soon as I stopped these issues just dissappeared; 
• ANXIETY: I have been having CRAZY anxiety. Brutal. And annoying because whenever I don't feel anxiety I am happier than ever. So I want it gone. Now. I suspect two things might be at play: 1) I significantly upped the amount of non-glutenous grains I was eating (purely a convenience thing) - correlation? Maybe. I'm on day 3 of no grains and my anxiety has dropped off significantly which could also be a result of 2) my hormones. As much as I don't relish giving up grains indefinitely at least that is something I can control. So I hope its the grains and not the hormones. I need to go through a whole month (cycle) with no grains to see if it helps. I had also been back on decaf coffee when the anxiety first came back. Another possible factor but removing that didn't fully take it away so not sure. I'll let you know how this plays out.
• SLEEP: Yeah. I don't sleep well the week before my monthly visitor. Especially days -4 and -3. Its really bad. But at least I'm down to a few days a month and I can kind of predict when its coming so it makes me feel a little more in control about it.  And the rest of the month I'm still sleeping well if I stick to my sleep rules and I'm not having an anxiety attack; 
• ENERGY: Like everything else this is generally fluctuating at different times of the month. Obviously, when I don't sleep I feel tired. But I have also confirmed (well in my mind anyway) that I can not go longer than 4 weeks with a B12 shot. And I have also confirmed that YOU SHOULD READ SUPPLEMENT LABELS. I bought a new B6/B12 combo and didn't notice that it had 125 mg's instead of my usual 1000 mg's. Whoops. Interestingly my energy levels are better now that I'm back to my usual 1000 mg's a day. Basically, if I have a steady flow of B12 in my system my energy levels are pretty darn good when I sleep. 
• CANDIDA: It still seems to be gone. My moods (all month) are holding steady. I'm very rarely grumpy. 
• DIGESTION: Yeah, a little off in this department. Which brings me back to the grains. I know grains don't work well with my system. I know this. I KNOW this. But sticking to it has been really difficult. But I'm back on the wagon for now and I hope it will improve quickly. I also know that ALIGN probiotics work really well with my system but they are $1 per day so I tried swapping it out with a much cheaper brand for a couple of weeks. Mistake. I'm back on ALIGN.

There are patterns if you watch for them. Your moods, sleep, digestion, etc are not usually just random occurrences. But it takes hard work. Diligence. Patience. Keep listening to your body. Don't accept anything less than your best. I'm not. I refuse to live in constant fear. I'm going to figure this out. Watch me.
 

Anxiety my old Friend.........

Digestion is good. Sleeps okay. Moods are stable. Stress is low. I was feeling great. Happy. Blessed. Joyful.

And then a couple of days ago my old friend anxiety decided to pay me a visit.  WTF.  Not impressed. Not happy to see you. Not welcome here.

Very confusing. I have three theories on what might have triggered this episode: I ate wheat three days in a row (nothing major but maybe?), I am due for my monthly B12 shot this week and/or I missed taking my iron and B12 a couple days in a row. But I'm skeptical. None of those seem serious enough to cause may anxiety to move back in.

And lets clarify here. I don't mean anxiety in the sense of "oh - I'm feeling stressed out". I used to bandy about the term "I'm having a panic attack" all the time (feel really bad about that now). Until having a real panic attack I thought it was just feeling really stressed out and being on that adrenal rush. NOPE. WRONG.

If you've had a real panic attack you will know it and it will shake you to your core. The scariest feeling you will ever go through. And if you've had anxiety. Real anxiety. You will also know that its not just feeling stressed. Its FEAR. You feel extremely scared. Or I do. My brain tends to latch onto something (usually some end of the world scenario - my current fascination is extreme weather and climate change) and I can not stop thinking, worrying, stressing about it. I feel like someone took a syringe full of fear and injected me. Like something has moved into my body (unwelcome guest I might add) and my brain.

And for the record anxiety and depression are not the same thing. I feel scared not sad.

Why am I sharing this. So you will all think I"m crazy? No. Because something got off balance in my body and for a couple of days I have been fixated on worrying about our lack of plant biodiversity, food shortages, floods, pollution, clean water, the poor bee population - ya da, ya da, ya da.  Or I WAS fixated on it.

And I decided to try something different this time. Instead of spending 50% of my time fixating on my worries (reading online blogs, websites, comments on climate change and weather patters) and the other 50% of the time trying to wrack my brain (and search the internet) on what physically triggered this episode (wheat, B12.......or maybe over training last week or maybe the chemicals in our water system or maybe ____) I decided to try something different. I know there is a trigger, and I know I need to figure it out and correct it, but what I need to do more is figure out how to mentally work my way through and out of my current anxiety so I can enjoy my life - because things are great right now. And frankly, if our future is doomed, shouldn't I be enjoying the present instead of worrying about it.

I have a friend who has often coached me to "stay in the present and don't give power to your fear". I can be a bit smug so I thought, oh I don't need to do that, my anxiety stems from my digestive problems not my mental state (sorry - I'm often wrong or misguided). But I finally decided maybe I should listen: when the student is ready the teacher will come.

So I was finally ready.

I spend all my energy last night just focusing on staying in the moment. Not letting my mind go to a dark place. I read inspiration quotes and watched Brene Brown video's instead of stories about disappearing bees. Every time my mind tried to go back to that place of fear I said NO and focused on the now.

And instead of letting myself feel the fear of uncertainty that comes with faith I just let my faith be a comfort.

And I felt better. I fell asleep like a baby (I hate that saying but you all know what I mean). And I woke up feeling better.

And I took the bus this morning and packed a vegan lunch (with no wheat)........because I might be a spec of a spec on this planet but I can take action to help slow climate change rather than just worrying about it! 

So maybe you think I'm crazy. Or maybe you will be inspired to be in the moment or maybe to pray. At the very least try to recycle today!!! Please.
 

Weekend Reflections - Blogging, Burpees, Baskets and Blessings

Easter Weekend. 

A time to celebrate. A time for tradition. A time to be thankful. 

A time to do burpees? 

I'm playing with blogger. Now that I don't "have" to blog twice a week I feel like blogging. And I felt like trying to see if I could add a video to my blog. My first one EVER!

So my 4 year old took a video of me doing burpees this morning (she nailed it). I have no idea if its going to work. If it does, that's me. And yes, it is April 19th and our front yard is still covered in snow. 

I LOVE doing burpees. Full - hit the floor and then jump in the air- burpees. I know some people will hate me for saying that. Sorry. Maybe you like jogging. Well I hate jogging. We're even.  

Seriously though. I have three kids, I work, I make most of our food from scratch - I don't have much time to work out. So I go hard when I do. I've had a few people ask me what I'm training for - life. Keeping up with three kids. But don't ask me to run. I don't run. 

So if you want to get in shape - try doing three sets of 10 - even if that is ALL you do you will have had a good workout. They are killer and AWESOME! But start slow - work up to the full burpees - work up to 10. I don't want anyone to hurt themselves. 

And we are counting our blessings this weekend. I am happy to say that I am feeling REALLY good. I've had lots of ups and downs the past 5 years. Some really LOW lows. But right now, today, I feel pretty great. The stars have aligned for me. I've worked for it. I keep working for it. I can't let my guard down. I take care of myself. It might seem selfish sometimes - always protecting my sleep, getting my workouts in, taking my supplements, eating a certain way (which can be a pain for others if they feel the need to feed me), saying NO. But the pay off for those around me is that I am happy. I have energy. My husband told me yesterday - I've been really liking you lately. Thanks hubby. I like you too. I'm more likable when I'm healthy and I like others a lot more.   

Rather than being trapped in survival mode, I have energy to do fun things with my kids. And actually be in the moment with them to enjoy it. 

So here are a couple of other fun things we have been doing this weekend................

Our Good Friday craft. Making stamps out of potato's. That was followed by making perogies out of potatoes. Recipe to come sometimes this week. 

We went to church to get our baskets blessed!  A little non-traditional twist on a very traditional part of my childhood. Are those Caramilk clean? NO. Did I have one. Yes!

I hope everyone has a very blessed and beautiful Easter! 

Христос Воскрес! (Khrystos Voskres!)

Christ is Risen!

BTW if someone happens to say that to you "in person" this is how you should respond........

Воїстину Воскрес! (Voyistynu Voskres!)

 Truly He is Risen! 

Mama Gets Fit - Dancers Pose on a Bosu and Other Fitness Fun

Let me tell you......taking a selfie with your "free" hand when you are doing dancers pose on a Bosu is not easy. I'm pretty pumped I was able to get a decent shot without hurting myself

Anyway, this is what I've been up to at the gym lately.

I was getting a little bored with my usually routine. Actually not really bored, I like my routine. Just looking for the new challenge.

And one of my YMCA instructors was recently talking about the importance of balance as you get older. And I have been finding lots of grey hairs this week (I just colored my hair -  wtf).

And I have been CRAVING to dance.

So all this resulted in my starting to try all sorts of balancing poses and ballet moves on the top of the BOSU.

Its so fun. But my sense of fun is kind of weird.

And its a great core workout. A great overall workout.

You should try it. Carefully. And maybe privately. I do this at the gym and my husband is pretty embarrassed to be seen with me.

What is the point of this post. I don't know. I'm just high on my monthly B12 shot, I just finished my first year-end at my new job (and discovered I actually love accounting - who knew) and I'm feeling invigorated with the freedom of not having to post recipes every Wednesday (although I have an awesome chocolate chip peanut cookie recipe coming).

Or maybe the point is to keep doing new things with fitness if you are getting bored. Keep it interesting. Keep it fun. Even if you look like a complete weirdo ballet freak. Do it for you..

I gotta run...........40 more get ups to do tonight before bed.

Kids Craft Time - Food Colouring & Snow = Fun

March 29th - Yep - We still have HUGE snow banks in our back yard!

After my announcement on Wednesday that I was taking a break from blogging.............here I am!

Its funny how a passion can be inspiration for a hobby. And then the hobby becomes an obligation. And then you lose your passion for your hobby.

But as soon as that hobby is no longer an obligation................it becomes a passion again. So I felt like posting something today. Just not food related.

I did do some major baking yesterday (recipes to come some day - maybe) and came up with this fantastic idea for my kids.........

FOOD COLOURING SNOW ART

Which one of my friends informed me is not actually a new idea. So some other brilliant mother has thought of this before. Oh well. Its fun.

If you are in Winnipeg.......or anywhere that the POLAR  VORTEX laid its cold and frigid hands, you might still have mountains of snow in your backyard. And you might be itching for spring and/or to kick your kids outside to play. Cabin fever anyone?

This will get them out there and keep them happy for a while:

• Fill several containers with water. I used leftover plastic fruit cup containers that I save for such occassions; 
• Add a few drops of food colouring to each one. Stir; 
• Give each of your kids a medicine dropper (I used 10 ml ones); 
• Let them suck up the coloured water and spray it on the snow to create abstract snow art;
• My friend said this also works with SPRAY bottles - why didn't I think of that? Brilliant.

Note - you might not want them to wear their good jackets when they do this...........unless you want tie-dyed outerwear on them next year.

Have a fun and colourful Sunday!

Mama's Taking a Break

Wednesday. Recipe Day.

Nope.

I'm taking some time off.

For how long? I don't know.

I'm at a point in my life when I want to pursue some of my other passions. And that means something else needs to go. Not much else is flexible. So it has got to be my blogging.

Well, not go entirely.

I still plan on blogging when I feel like it. When I have a recipe to share or something that I need to say. I'm just not willing to commit to a recipe every Wednesday and an update every Sunday. Not for now. Cooking is my passion, but its starting to feel more like an obligation to develop and document new recipes. So I'm taking a break - so I can do it when I feel inspired not when I feel obligated.

I feel kind of nervous. My blog makes me accountable to myself.

But I'm feeling pretty good. I'm eating clean - staying away my food sensitivities, limiting my grains and sugar and staying away from dairy. My digestion is doing well. I'm exercising 4 times a week. I'm taking my supplements. My pants are getting really tight (the scale is moving UP consistently since I started weaning - over 15 pounds since summer) but I feel good so that's okay.

I guess this is as good of a time as any to take a break. Catch up on life. Do some spring cleaning. Do some dancing. Some yoga. Breathe. 

I'll still be here. Check in. And my recipes are still here.................go to my recipe index for Low Carb Grain Free Recipe Ideas and KidsEatClean for Egg, Gluten and Dairy Free Recipe Ideas.

See you around!!!

Sunday Reflections - The Costs of Feeling Good

I would be lying if I didn't tell you that this clean lifestyle was not expensive at times.

The food. Yep. I spend quite a bit of money on all these "clean" ingredients. This is partially offset by the savings we get since we RARELY eat out anymore, can't pick up a pizza and generally avoid fast food. I take my lunch to work 98% of the time and have given up coffee. And given my passion for being environmentally friendly (and my general cheapness) we waste VERY LITTLE food. I do everything in my power to make sure we eat every last drop of all those expensive ingredients.

But my bank account has still been taking a beating.

Its the supplements.

I know some of you often wonder what supplements I take. And I want to figure out how much I am spending in a month. So here is a snapshot of what I am currently taking.

 Believe me, this list is a lot shorter than it once was - but its still way longer than I want it to be. So here you have it (cost is for a one month's supply)..........

Ferramax (iron - 1 per day) -                                       $18
Adrenal Balance (2  per day) -                                      $62
Vitamin C (2 per day) -                                               $negligible
Vitamin B12 with Folic Acid (1 per day)                        $3.50
Align Probiotic (1 per day)                                           $30
Vitamin D drops (5 drops per day)                                $3 (estimate)
B12 Injection                                                              $12

I'm also taking a Digestive Aide (Betaine/Pepsin) before dinner - sometimes. I'm supposed to be taking 2 before each meal but I just can't seem to keep up with it. I also take a Calcium/Magnesium liquid supplement once in a while if I'm not sleeping well but I didn't include it because I'm not doing it consistently.

My goal - to be off everything except the Vitamin D. Probably somewhat unrealistic since I seem to have a B12 deficiency. Okay - everything except B12 and D. And maybe a round of probiotics a couple times a year. For maintenance.

But at this point in time - $128.50 each month. That's $1,542 a year. And that doesn't include what I give my kids.

Expensive. Yeah. Worth it. Yeah. I feel pretty great.

But I still have hope that I can get off those adrenals. I'm going to drop down to one a day and see what happens.............................wish me luck!

Sunday Reflections - Spring Flooding Part 2

Well, my two mischievous little house flooders were at it again.

Its been almost one year since our last "man-made" flooding incident. That's the great thing about blogging - you can go back and check these things since they are well documented.

One year ago on March 21st my two daughters plugged the bathroom sink with Kleenex and turned the water on full blast. Then they immediately lost interest in their project and came upstairs to go to bed. I discovered their attempt to make an indoor swimming pool about 3 hours later. I have the post to prove it.......it just so happens to accompany one of my most popular recipes - Clean and Low-Carb Shepard's Pie.

What I actually remember most about that event is that I was in VERY ROUGH SHAPE. So exhausted that I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I felt terrible. I was so nutrient deficient, Candida ridden and ill that I barely reacted when I felt the water squish up through my socks. I didn't have the energy to feel anything - or clean it up. I just shut the water off, called my husband to come home from work and sat on the couch in a complete daze, staring at the wall, until he came home. I was a mess. As was my basement.

Fast forward almost a year. Another flood. More Kleenex. This time it was the upstairs bathroom. This time it wasn't intentional - not entirely. Just the misguided idea that you should throw half a waded up roll of toilet paper (left over from an earlier "play" idea that went bad)  into the bowl (rather than the garbage). And then flush it repeatedly when it won't go down. And then laugh your head off when it starts overflowing rather than actually panicking and running to get your parents. Needless to say there is now water dripping into our kitchen from various spots in our ceiling.

But this time my husband was home - Thank the Lord. And this time I feel like a totally different person. I don't feel exhaustion, brain fog or rage.  I have been struggling a bit with my energy levels but after getting a B12 injection yesterday I am feeling great. Full of energy. I feel like myself. I can cope with what life throws at me. Or what life drips on me.

So as much as this latest flood is a pain in the arse. A make-work project. Its actually been a good reminder of how far I've come. How much better I am feeling.

I'm not thrilled to have toilet water leaking into my kitchen (anyone want to come over for dinner? LOL). But I am thrilled to be feeling good. To be back on the path to the best version of myself.

And as mischievous as they might be, I am blessed to have 3 healthy, if somewhat diet challenged, children that keeps things interesting. And WET.

Sunday Reflections - How I'm turning things around!

NOTE: Sorry this was a day late???? Glitch in the system I guess.

I try all these "things" to get and stay healthy.

I'm forever tweaking my diet and supplements, exercising, playing with the timing of my key routines - bedtime, supplements, meals, snacks and seeing various doctors.

I'm hopeful and determined that I will get feeling my best.

I have been struggling for about the past year (well, actually, my whole life except the few months I felt great last year when I first started eating clean). When I say struggling it hasn't been all bad. Some good hours/days/minutes and some bad. But since November I had been having more bad than good.

Just feeling off. My system was off. Digestive issues. Feelings of low blood sugar. Dizziness. Brain fog. Insomnia and the resultant tiredness. Mild anxiety.

Inconsistent symptoms. It was like I was walking a line - just holding it together. If I babied myself like crazy (strict with food, sleep and supplements) I was okay. Not great but okay. If I cheated just a wee bit I was teetering over the edge.

Not a full fledged adrenal shut-down. Not Candida. Not anemia (blood work is "relatively" okay). Not my best. And confused.

And then I tweaked things a bit further a few weeks ago and somethings seems to have snapped back into place. I am FEELING BETTER. And not just for a few days. A few weeks. Not back to where I want to be. But consistently much better than I had been.

So I'm going to share a few of the "tweaks" I have done that may or may not be the reason for my sudden turnaround. For your information, if you are desperately searching for new ideas on how to heal yourself and for my information. Because I come back to these posts when I need a reminder of how I can turn things around. Its amazing how quickly you can forget these things.......especially when the brain fog sets in.

1) I FINISHED BREASTFEEDING - It's just too much of a coincidence that as soon as I fully weaned my little guy I started feeling better. I've mentioned before that I think breastfeeding can be really hard on a body that is pre-disposed to digestive issues, food sensitivities,  low stomach acid and low absorption. A perfect storm for significant nutrient deficiencies - supplements and clean food be damned. If you can't absorb it and its getting sucked out of you by an adorable little vacuum its going to take its toll. Would I change the fact that I nursed all three of my kids exclusively for over a year. No. Given their genetic pre-disposition to digestive issues and food sensitivities it was the best for them. So no regrets. But am I ready to start feeling better. Oh yeah.

2) B12 SUPPLEMENTATION - I've mentioned B12 many times. You are probably sick of hearing it. BUT SERIOUSLY. Please listen to me. B12 injections (I get mine through my naturopath for $12 a pop but you can also get them through a regular MD) work miracles. And I'm not even in the published "low end of the range". My B12 sits around 400 which is well above the 200 threshold western medicine believes is acceptable. NOT FOR ME. Maybe not for you. I went for a B12 injection about 3 times in 4 weeks to get my levels back up. The first couple only helped for a week or so. The third one has been holding for over 3 weeks and I feel so much better. In the meantime, I have also added a daily oral B12 (with folic acid) to my supplement routine.

3) ROTATING PROBIOTICS  -  After probably 8 months on the same probiotic I decided to change things up. I started taking ALIGN (which I bought at Costco for about $1 per pill/day). Now, I didn't make this one change in isolation (see #'s 1, 2 and 4) but it really does seem to be working. I went from having several multiple-day colitis type attacks (in January) back to awesome digestive health. If I eat clean and keep my portions a reasonable size my stomach seems to be working just fine. Coincidence. Maybe. But if your system isn't working properly maybe you should consider rotating probiotics once in a while. And if you are not happy with your brand then give Align a shot. Every body is different but it seems to be working for me.

4) GAVE UP THE GRAINS (AGAIN) - I'm really bad at being "grain-free". I never stick to it faithfully in the long term - I don't even cheat on fun stuff. Its usually just that I get hungry and can't find anything to snack on so I have some gluten free cereal or something else of my kids. Hunger and convenience just seem to win out over intelligence and common sense much too often. I KNOW it plays havoc on my digestive system. I've proven this to myself over and over (and over) by eliminating them and re-introducing them. Same result each time. They slow my digestion right down. And that is just bad for so many reasons. Its a bad, bloated, uncomfortable, Candida friendly environment that I don't want any part of. So once again, I got my shit together (lol) and cut the grains out. And what happened................my digesting got immediately better. Big surprise.

So there you have it. I don't know if its one or some combination of all of these things that is helping me out. I don't know if it will last. I don't know.....................

Well you get the picture. Just keep trying new things. Don't give up. Unfortunately there isn't ONE answer that is going to work for everyone. You've just gotta keep working at it. And its worth it. Because life is much better with a clear head, a flat (or at least not bloated) stomach and cheer (not fear) as your constant companion.

Cheers - Mama!!!

PS. A couple insomnia/PMS tips I think I've figured out this month:
1) My sleep is seriously buggered up before my period. But this month I started sleeping with an ice pack under my pillow. When I wake up during the night I flip over my pillow (cool side) and/or use the ice pack to cool off. Its not solving the problem but its helping; and
2) Exercise for PMS. Its unbelievable how different I feel on the days I exercise in the morning. Thursday didn't work out - felt terrible all day. Friday worked out - felt energetic and healthy all day. Saturday - woke up feeling terrible. Extremely dizzy and icky. Went to hot yoga. Walked out feeling completely normal.
Now to just figure out how to have the energy and time to work out every morning - especially in the weeks that sleep is alluding me....................

Sunday Reflections - Coming Out of My Bubble

So this post might seem to come out of nowhere. And you might wonder what in the world it has to do with Adrenal Fatigue, Anemia, Candida or Eating Clean. And why I would show a picture of a wheat field on my blog. My gluten-free blog.

I just have something else on my mind today. This week. Probably because my Adrenal Fatigue, Anemia and Candida seem to be under control for the moment (yay).

There has been a storm brewing half way around the world. Turmoil. Hope and hopelessness. A place that is very far removed from my everyday life. Ukraine.

The state flag of Ukraine is a banner of two equally sized horizontal bands of blue and yellow color, which symbolize the clear blue sky over a yellow wheat field. Well frankly, I can do without the wheat. But I love the concept. I've always loved this flag.

I have been so caught up in my own troubles (had been "off" and struggling for the past few months) and trying so hard to get my health back in order that the news, articles and pleas about Ukraine on the internet and Facebook didn't fully reach me. I was aware of what was going on in the Ukraine. I read about it. But I was watching it as a fairly unemotional bystander. Detached.

And then this week things went haywire over there. Russian moved its troupe's into the Ukraine. What. Wait.

Health wise, I have started feeling better which means I had more time to devout to thinking about this. To feeling. It's actually affecting me.

That's the thing with Adrenal Fatigue and anemia. You can be so spaced out that sometimes you don't really FEEL things. You just go through the motions.

But I'm feeling things now. I am not just going through the motions.

And I have been thinking about my relationship with Ukraine. What it means to me. From my bubble over here in Canada.

How many times have I stood and sang the National anthem of Ukraine with pride? How many times did I put on my boots and beads and headpiece and dance my heart out in honor of my Ukrainian culture. How many perogies (okay - that was my pre-Clean days) have I pinched over my lifetime. How many years did I study the language and memorize the poems of Ukraine's most famous poets.

I am Canadian first. There is no doubt about that. But my Ukrainian roots run deep. I wouldn't be me if I weren't "Ukrainian". It has been a huge part of my life - the language, the food, the traditions, the music and of course the dancing. I'm so proud of the Ukraine's rich culture and traditions.

So I SHOULD feel something when the Ukraine is in turmoil.

I can't do much from here. But I can feel and I can pray. So I will.

And I can be grateful. Grateful that I live in Canada. That my biggest issue involves how to make perogies without gluten, dairy or eggs. That I have access to healthcare, "clean" food and supplements. And that my health is returning so I can feel things.

Because I'm not me if I don't feel things!

Slava Ukraina!