Sunday, January 5, 2014

Sunday Reflections - Frustration When You Expect Inspiration - You are Not Welcome Back Adrenal Fatigue

Sorry. I wish I could make my first (ish) post of the New Year insightful and inspiring. Recharged, positive and ready to take on the new year.

Instead you are getting a bit of an update. And unfortunately I am feeling a bit frustrated.

Frustrated with my own body. Its rebelling against me. Even though I treat it pretty darn good.

I gave up caffeine. Completely. I go to sleep by 10 each night. I don't drink. At all. Not a sip. I changed jobs to reduce my stress. I take probiotics, iron, adrenal pills, Vit C, Vit D and digestive enzymes. Faithfully. I eat clean. I gave up gluten, dairy, sugar (trying anyway), banana's, most legumes..........the list goes on. I eat way less carbs than the Canada Food Guide recommends - or I was for the better part of a year. I gave up pork, vinegar, yeast, mushrooms, starchy vegetables and EVEN FRUIT for a while. I got rid of my Candida.

I exercise 4 times a week.

I'm being a really good girl. I'm committed. I'm focused. I'm kind of boring.

But my ADRENAL FATIGUE is trying very hard to settle back into my body.

Its trying to slowly and subtly sneak back in. To get a full grip on me before I realize what is happening. You don't just wake up one day with adrenal fatigue. The symptoms start slowly and build until you forget what you used to feel like. It becomes your new normal and you can mistakenly think this is just "you".

Sorry Adrenal Fatigue. I've been through this before. I KNOW THE SIGNS. And I am not letting this happen. Again.

If you have been following along you might know that my sugar cravings, cheats and carb consumption started firing back up sometime in November. Not that I haven't struggled with it all along. I have. But since I started the Candida diet in early May, I was winning the battle. My willpower was strong enough to keep me on track for the most part.

Then all the sudden in November I started cheating. Cheat, cheat, cheat. It started with milk chocolate Halloween candies left over from my kids. I took them to work to share (i.e. get rid of them). I hadn't eaten milk chocolate for the best part of a year so they didn't actually tempt me. Before.

Then something changed. All of the sudden I couldn't resist them. At about 1:00. Right after lunch. Everyday. I could not stop myself from having one. Okay two. I was possessed. And its a slippery slope with sugar addiction. Once you start it is hard to stop.

I felt so disappointed in myself. Why was I so weak? I just got rid of my Candida after months of deprivation how could I throw that all away? How can I have a clean eating blog when I eat all this chocolate and sugar? Should I hide the wrappers?

And then my sleep started to be inconsistent. I was having trouble falling asleep at night. I wasn't sleeping as deeply as I had been. I started having some insomnia and not waking up rested. I still am. Maybe its the caffeine in chocolate keeping me up?

My shoulder started aching again. That deep ache on my right side. I thought maybe it was either from my restless nights or from the yoga handstands I have been working on?

And then suddenly I started feeling ANXIETY, FEAR. Mild compared to what I've experienced in the past. My first thought - damn - the sugar and lack of sleep must be causing me to have some kind of reaction?

So you see. Its easy to keep coming up with reasons/excuses for why you start feeling off. That's how it sneaks up on you.

I thought that I was weak, stupid and had no willpower which caused me to start eating chocolate again. Or my Candida was back. I thought the chocolate and carbs were causing me to not sleep. I thought the not sleeping was flaring up my shoulder and I was further aggravating it at the gym. I thought all of this combined to cause me to have anxiety.


I've been reflecting. And reflecting. And trying to figure out what happened. What went wrong. And the answer is there..........................

STRESS. My old friend. STRESS.

I had a terribly stressful fall. I changed jobs. Leaving my last job was brutal for me. I had a really hard time. And starting a new job puts a lot of pressure on a person. Its exciting. I'm loving it. It was the right thing to do for all the right reasons. But it requires you to "be on" at a different level than you normally have to be.

I thought I was handling it okay. I took the time to keep exercising and eating clean. I felt happy. I felt settled with my decision even if I had to disappoint people to make the move.

But like I have said before, I broke my adrenals. And they might never be the same again. So they are susceptible to stress.

And adrenal fatigue often seems to set in after, or be felt the most, when the stress is over.

So I guess having a super relaxing Christmas holiday and time off work was a blessing and a curse. I loved spending time with my family. But the adrenaline stopped flowing. And I started to really feel the effects of the stress my body has been under.

So my adrenal story continues. Its frustrating to be in this spot again. But don't feel sorry for me. This is a mild case compared to what I've been through before. And I have hope this time. I KNOW I can get this back under control.

It will take work. I will go back to my original rules for Curing Adrenal Fatigue the All Natural Way. And I will get better.  It will just take some time.

And I have learned that its not ONE THING that causes adrenal fatigue. It can be stress. It can be food sensitives and nutrient deficiencies. It can be lack of sleep. It can be personality. If you are susceptible to it you must be vigilant. Pay attention. My sudden overwhelming sugar cravings were the first sign that my adrenals were screaming for help. I should have upped my supplements at that point. I should have slowed down. I should have..........

I should give myself a break is what I should do. Its over. Time to move forward. Nip this thing in the bud. So Goodnight. I'm going to try 9:30 tonight and see if that helps..................................

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