Monday, June 30, 2014

RCMP, Brain Fog and Stress

I did something really embarrassing this weekend that resulted in me being asked "Did you get a call from the RCMP yet?"

You know your adrenal fatigue is getting bad when...........

You go to the gas station. Fill up your van with $75 worth of gas. Use their bathroom. And 2 1/2 hours later think "Weird - I don't remember paying for gas". Complete and utter brain fog.

For the record I did not pay for the gas but I did go back (on my own without the knowledge that the RCMP were looking for me) 3 hours later and say sheepishly "I'm $75 on lane 1". With a big smirk the attendant says "oh hi - you're back - we saw you on the surveillance and didn't think you looked like a criminal". But they called the police anyway.

The morale of the story is that I still "look" fairly put together on the outside but I'm back in brain fog land in the inside. Adrenal fatigue land. Candida land.

Big. Huge. Sigh.

This was not how I was hoping to spend my summer. I DON'T WANT TO DO THE CANDIDA DIET AGAIN. It sucks. If you come here for inspiration. Sorry. I'm not in the mood. I need to wallow for a day in self pity. And then tomorrow I'm tightening up the diet and slamming back some anti-fungals.

I know I can do this. I've done it before. I'll go back and re-read some of my old blog posts and recipes and get myself refreshed on how this thing works.

Its partly my own fault that this happened. I started letting the grains and sugar back into my diet a while back. I had been sneaking grains off my kids plates and pounding back my "healthy" dark chocolate like it was going out of style. That resulted in my GRAINXIETY episode in the spring.

Well in June I cut both out the grains and most of the sugar - and my anxiety went away. But I fell back off the wagon this weekend - I was travelling with the kids (alone) and just didn't have the time, foresight or willpower to stay away from them. Poof - my anxiety was back as quickly as it went away. Three days seems to be my magic number.

So the diet problem was my own fault.

But I have also been under a fair deal of stress lately. A little here. A lot there. Coming at me from every angle. Its all piling up on me and a lot of it is out of my control. Not the kind that you can make go away by making different decisions. And generally the end of the school year was pretty crazy - we have been running around and I haven't been babying myself like I used to.

So it all accumulated and caught up with me.

And now I have to deal with it because I'm not going to lie - I don't feel great. I'm by no means the best version of myself.

But I think I can turn things around quickly. I'm correcting months of abuse this time, not years. I hope I can bounce right back.

Wish me luck because I want to have a good summer! All the ingredients for a perfect summer are there - 3 great kids, lots of time off work, hopefully some sun - the question is will I be there. Or in some brain fog trying to explain to the RCMP that I'm not a criminal. Just a Mom with broken adrenals and a will to be better!

1 comment:

  1. I know you said you don't feel like being inspiring but this post was super inspiring to me. I am all too familiar letting grains and sugars slowly sneak back in and telling myself that dark chocolate is healthy. I did the candida diet and was well on the road to being healed when we had quite a few large life changes and all the tasty things came creeping back in to my life. I was certain I could do it again... I mean I had done this whole candida thing once before and it worked right? I have not been as successful this time around though like you seem to be ( from seeing your posts after this) I seem to be able to go for about as long a 5 days before I blow it. And when I blow it I REALLY blow it. I have been in this cycle for about 1/2 a year. It seems the harder I try the worse it gets. My question for you is when you are starting over again how do you stear clear of the temptations when you are exhausted or emotional or just busy?